I have a fucking iPhone in my hand right now. Your argument is invalid.

In years to come, people will point to episode 6.03 of House as the episode where its slow decline finally turned into jumping the shark.

Oh my lord this guy's blog is hilarious. I just finished reading this post, and I actually had to pause reading because I was laughing so hard that my vision was obscured by tears.

I just bought an iPhone. :D
It should arrive in 2-3 days.
:D

Guys, this show is funny as all fuck. Take 25 minutes out of your day to watch it. You will not regret it.

Watch Community on Hulu now.

Srsly u guyz.

HAI U GUIZ! I made a friend!
This is very exciting for me because I'm socially retarded and terrified that everyone hates me, but she likes me! She thinks I'm cool! And I think SHE'S the coolest. And we have tons in common and omgomgomg.
I know I'm a massive loser, but I just wanted to gush about the fact that I've been here a month as of yesterday, and I finally made a friend besides Nicole. Nicole is a lovey person, and I enjoy spending time with her, but she's 28 and I'm only 20 and she's more adult-like and having of an adult-like life. Plus we both have conflicting schedules so we've never hung out except for times when she comes over to sit on the porch with Alicia and I'm around and we drink wine together and have fun.
ANYWAY. My new friend's name is Jess, she's 23, and she started working at the coffee shop the same time I did. And, get this, she lives at the other apartment that my mom checked out for me while I was still in CT. She also just moved to town, approximately the same time as me, possibly a little bit before. And she's a ballerina. A fucking honest-to-god ballerina. It's the reason she moved here. To be in a ballet company here. She has a college degree in ballet or something like that. Something dance-y, I'm not sure what. ISN'T THAT COOL?
Sorry, I'm a little hyper. I only slept 4 hours last night, and I did a clopen at the coffee shop yesterday. Which means that I worked the opening shift, left for a few hours, then came back to do the closing shift. Then did the opening shift again this morning (which is my usual shift). I'm working 7 days a week, almost 50 hours a week there. But it's okay, because I really enjoy it. I quit my job at the Inn of the Hawke, because I fucking hated it. I didn't tell them that, though. I just told them that it wasn't possible to work there anymore when LTC (that's Lambertville Trading Company, aka the coffee shop) is giving me 9 jillion hours. When I quit, the owner was like "well, you still have to fulfill your obligation to work this weekend, because you're on the schedule" which is total bullshit, but I have to do it, because Lambertville is Gossip Town, USA. If I burn that bridge, the whole town will know it before the week is out, and I'll have a terrible reputation. Which isn't that important at the moment, because I'm so damn employed at LTC, but you never know when a situation might change. Anyway, they moved some stuff around so that I only have to work Saturday, but everyone and their mom requested off there this weekend, so they really need me Saturday, otherwise they'd be totally fucked. So leaving them in that position would reflect very badly on me.

So the whole point of this post was to tell you all that I'm going over to Jess's to watch Glee tonight (which you should all watch because it is fucking amazing. Go click on that link. Go now!). U guiz, I has a playdate! :D

Why is Wednesday wine night? And why do I feel the need to drunk post?I drank too much last time and I was effing miserable the next day, but I moderated myself a little better tonight, and now I'm pleasantly intoxicated without being super hangover girl tomorrow (I hope. I'm still learning my limits/ I'm only 20, you know. And I had no friends in high school).
So, please, nobody call me. Actually, it's a moot point, because my phone is one the first floor, and literally on the floor.
I haven't even done a real update lately, so none of you know what's going on in my life right now. I have a job at a coffee shop, which I'm still in training for, but I love so far, and I start working as a hostess/runner at a restaurant this weekend. Plus the dog walking gig for now, and I haven't looked after Ruby Nell since last Thursday, but I'm really okay with that for now. Although Sandy does owe me 55 bucks. So there.
So that is my incoherent update of what's going on with me right now. Perhaps sometime soon I'll do a sober update of my life.

I want to go back outside and hang out with Nicole and Alicia, but I'm already up here, and my bed is so comfy. I really not as wasted as they think I am, and I'm a little embarrassed about that, god knows why. I just like to put my head down on the table is all. That doesn't mean I'm incoherent. Then again, I rather stopped paying attention to the conversation and was concentrating more on rolling my head back and forth, because that's fun, and interjecting here and there to make them think I was paying attention. What was really embarrassing, though, was Nicole offering to walk me upstairs, when I'd just walked upstairs 20 minutes prior to get some tums, because red wine is very acidic, thank you very much.
I had a dream last night that I was visiting Karen at Rutgers, and, like, everyone I knew in high school was going to Rutgers, and I was the totally isolated and left out asshole who didnt go. Karen, everything in your room was purple, and you had incense, and you were near the movie theater. How do you feel about that? Good, I bet.
I don't feel like going to bed, because I'm really enjoying these sensations of drunkenness. And I still wanna kind of go back outside just to prolong my wakefulness, just becuase I am so enjoying this intoxication, but I don't want to make an asshole of myself in front of Alicia and Nicole.
Of course, making an asshole out of myself on livejournal is okay, right?
I think I'm generally just an asshole. This is my conclusion of the night: I am a socially retarded asshole. Time for chocolate!

Oh man. I have a bunch of stuff I need to do tomorrow, ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

The coffee shop called me, and I have the 2 hour interview/interrogation/waterboarding at the owners' house at 10. I also am going to look after Ruby Nell (the 87 year old lady) at 12 for a few hours. This was why the interview had to be at that time. But what I failed to remember: I also have to go walk Nicole's dog. I usually do it around 12:30, but I was just going to do it an hour early so I could get to Ruby Nell at noon. Then, Mr. Coffee shop calls me 3 hours ago and I totally space about the damn dog. (not damn dog him or anything. I love the dog.) I was originally supposed to be taking care of Ruby Nell today because I was expecting to have the interview today, but then no one got to me about it.
None of this would be such a massive problem if I had a car, but I don't. And both the Coffee people and the old lady live at the top of epically huge fucking hills (seriously, it is some San Fransisco shit going on up there), which I am completely incapable of biking up, because I am not my mother. So I have to walk my bike to the coffee people, speed down to Nicole's, then walk up to Ruby Nell.
I am seriously not even kidding you about the massiveness of these fucking hills. I wish I could draw you guys a map. You know what? I can fucking draw you a map.

( my map is awesome )

Basically what you need to know is, those distances are longer than they look in my little map, and that is a super massive fucking hill.

asl/dkgn akjg

I need a datebook or something.

How am I going to do this, flist?!

ETA: thank you, Leigh, for schooling me in the ways of Apple-fu.

I just went to torrent the latest season of Bones and Transmission informed me that I don't have enough space on my hard drive. -_-;; So I dug out the external hard drive and I'm transferring over 30 GB of TV and Movies off my hard drive.

( TV I have )

( Movies I have )

( TV I bought from iTunes )

All this not to mention the more than 23 GB of both legally- and illegaly-obtained music I have in iTunes. I'm starting to see why I couldn't fit Bones on my hard drive...

I want this to be a meme. Mostly because I want people to memorize, perform, record, and post themselves doing this dance.
I think that would be an awesome meme. Don't you?

Sorry about those posts last night. I'm a crazy person.
Oh my God. I have no idea why I thought it was a good plan to set my alarm last night. I wish I were still asleep right now. Well, you know what they say: hindsight is no longer intoxicated.

I want pancakes.

I found my glasses! Also, I dttypeeed the fff!

I seriously love you, flist.


i love sunchips and their delicious investment in my drunkenness.



Thank God I'm alone with nothingbut my 56 year old landladyd, because I would totally be nailing anyone around me right now. even steve. perhaps especially steve. my arm is tired. goodnight my loves]


fucmk yesssss!!!

poh my god. I have never been so fucking srunk in my ;ife. I don'y even know where I put y glasses, so t's a good thing I know the keyboard fairly well.

I was going to facebook status update this, but my mother and severrral other family members are my facebook friends. I'm sorry if this post is incoherent, but I don't know where my flasses are. At least I have my ipod plugged in, though, right?

I wouldn't be posting, except this is the most drunk I have ever been in my life. How very exciting for mw. Alicia qas kind enough to share her wine with me. I lost count of hoq many flasses I had. It was at elast 8 I think. That says eight right? I honestly can't seeee six inches in front of my face without my glasses. even on a good day.
I loce sitting out on the porch with Alicia. She's such a nice ;ady. She introduced me to lots of neighvors. I'mm going to join the town watch.

I might be passing out soon. but I want to stay aeewaker, because I'm really enjpying this new foung drunkenness.

I'ce got to say though. I sway around a lot when I'm drunk. Just randomly moving body parts for no reason.

again, I'm super sorry for my crazy typos. Even in my nintoxicated state, there wouldn't be this many typos if I could see more than six inches in front of my face. It's hard to go back and correct them, you nkow?

Yay! MY HICCUPS HAVE GONE AWAU!! I love the shift keeeey. Ca[slock is for nitchessssss.

Good night fliist! I love you all!

I'm in my new apartment! It's so awesome. I love it. My landlord, Alicia, is sooo nice. She took me on a walk to show me the town yesterday and introduced me to some of her friends and neighbors. Last week, when I came to see the place, I told her I was still looking for a job and she told all her friends (she knows like half the town) and has four people who are interested in talking to me. In fact, I have an interview at a coffee shop at 1 today.
I can tell I'm going to be really happy here.

My coworker Carolina invited me over for a goodbye dinner tonight. :D She's such a sweetheart. I'm excited. But also worried that I will not comport myself appropriately. I'm also afraid that she's going to cook super spicy food. It's not even that I just don't like spicy food (which I don't), but my body can't physically handle it. It makes me sick. I've had a few bad experiences where I tried to choke some spicy food down to be polite and ended up getting violently ill 2 hours later. I might be allergic or something. I can't even handle when people get a little heavy-handed with the pepper shaker, that's how intolerant my body is of spiciness. Oh well, I've got Pepto Bismol in my purse and prayers on my lips. Let's hope that's enough.
Whatever. I'm sure I'll have fun. Wish me luck!

I got an apartment.

It's fucking amazing. Beautiful downtown Lambertville, NJ, just across the bridge from New Hope, PA. 15 miles from my parents in Flemington. Gorgeous little old town, bustling with tourism and antique shops and cafes and restaurants. Across the bridge is lively New Hope, with bars and live music and restaurants and still more shopping and a big LGBT community. Everything is within biking distance. My landlord, Alicia, lives in the house with her 9 year old German Shepherd, Lady, who is very docile and sweet. Nice big kitchen on the first floor, nice big bathroom on the second floor, two rooms of my very own on the third floor. Did I mention the house was built in 1860? It is so fucking awesome. There's a cute little garden in the back where I can park my bike, lots of room for me and my things. It's basically wonderful. And I'm moving in on Saturday.
The best part? My parents are going to be shouldering most of the rent. The rent is $950, and they'll be paying $650 of it for a year. That's one year where I only have to pay $300 a month for this awesome place. Now all I have to do is find a job, but there are tons of places and I'm so excited, you guys!